Trump’s Last Seven Days

Donald Trump’s last seven days include:

  • Getting his clock cleaned in a debate, with said clock-cleaning born out in every single scientific poll, yet claiming victory based on unscientific Internet surveys which were spammed by his supporters;
  • Blaming Hillary Clinton for being cheated on by her husband, claiming that it makes her unfit to be president. Trump is himself is a serial adulterer; 
  • Fat-shaming a former beauty queen despite himself being grossly overweight and then having a 3AM Twitter meltdown during which he falsely claimed she made a sex tape which he suggested voters go look for. Which we can’t, of course, because it does not exist. The next day it was discovered that he himself made a cameo in a Playboy Playmate video back in the 1990s; and
  • Being revealed to have lost nearly a billion dollars in a single year based on poor business decisions and subsequently going 20 years without paying income taxes due to those losses. There is distinct possibility that he is illegally parking those losses in phony debt obligations, which would render his two decades of tax avoidance a federal crime. He continues to base his political argument on his business acumen and claims that his losses and lack of paying income taxes means he’s a “genius.”

​In every single presidential election in our nation’s history, even one of these things would functionally disqualify a candidate, causing them to lose the support of his party and the support of an overwhelming majority of his would-be voters.

In 2016, tens of millions of people will still vote for him because there is a little elephant next to his name and because they think Hillary Clinton is a bitch. 

Craig Calcaterra

Craig is the author of the daily baseball (and other things) newsletter, Cup of Coffee. He writes about other things at He lives in New Albany, Ohio with his wife, two kids, and many cats.