Saturday morning, awaiting breakfast tacos. Anna is ten feet from me.

Anna: Allison is sleeping way too late! Can I wake her up?????????
me: No, honey. She has to wake up early for work most days. It’s OK if she sleeps in on the weekend.
Anna: But I’m starving!I need a breakfast taco!
me: I think you can survive for a few minutes longer, baby.
Anna: Can we at least start making one? I cant go any longer or I’ll die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
me: Honey, we will wait. If you’re hungry you can have a banana or a granola bar or something. Tacos are more for brunch today.
me: BRUNCH, not lunch. Way before lunch
Anna: THen why dont we start making MINE.
me: Because we make all the eggs and bacon at once.
Anna: well then start making all of at once or I’ll die of hunger!
me: Honey, please. Patience.
Anna: I can only have patience if Allison wakes up because I have already been patient for a million hundred years and you can start making breakfast tacos right now unless you want me to die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
me: I promise, you will not die
Anna: but what if I do It will be all your fault
me: I guess I’ll have to live with that.

Craig Calcaterra

Craig is the author of the daily baseball (and other things) newsletter, Cup of Coffee. He writes about other things at He lives in New Albany, Ohio with his wife, two kids, and many cats.

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