Bath time, about 25 minutes ago. Anna is soaking in bubbles, almost up to her nose. I am cleaning the bathroom counter.
Anna: Where did you go to college?
Me: You know where I went to college.
Anna: Ohio State?
Anna: Are there colleges in San Diego?
Me: A couple, sure.
Anna: Are they good colleges to go to?
Me: [trying not to be that guy, but failing]: There are some better ones up near San Francisco.
Anna: Which ones?
Me: U.C. Berkeley. It’s part of the University of California. Most people call it “Berkeley.” And Stanford.
Anna: Which one is better?
Me: It depends, I guess. One is probably better for some things, one is probably better for others. A lot of people who went to one say that it was better than the other one and vice-versa.
Anna: Do you know people who went to those colleges?
Me: I have a few friends who went to Berkeley.
Anna: Which of those colleges is better for being a rock star?
Me [a beat]: Probably neither. If you want to be a rock star, you probably don’t need to go to Stanford or Berkeley. Probably shouldn’t, actually.
Anna: Which one is better if you want to be a teacher?
Me: Um, I don’t know. I suppose I could look it up. There are a lot of colleges you can go to if you want to be a teacher.
Anna: But I want to go to college in California.
Me: OK, we’ll figure it out by then. We have nearly ten years.
Anna: I want to teach elementary school.
Anna: Aren’t you going to ask me why I want to teach elementary school?
Me: Why do you want to teach elementary school.
Anna: Because middle school kids STINK.
Me: Yes, I suppose they do.
Anna: [farts in tub, bubbles come up, Anna dies laughing]