Not all heroes wear capes

Yesterday, as is the case with most days, I got into an argument with some random person on Twitter over something I wrote. I rarely if ever make such arguments personal and this wasn’t a pitched battle. No one got super angry. I took some issue with the argument style of the other guy – he kept insisting on telling me what I thought as opposed to taking issue with what I said – but it was about a 3 on a 10 point argument scale. It was Sunday and I was busy watching TV and doing housework and stuff and didn’t really pay much attention to it. 

While out for ice cream with the kids last night I glanced at my phone and realized that the other guy had deleted his account. I chuckled a bit at that and Anna asked me what I was laughing at. 

Me: Oh, just some guy I was arguing with deleted his account. 

Anna: Wait, are you serious?

Me: Yeah.

Anna: Why?

Me: Not sure. It’s not like he said anything regrettable. Even if he did you figure he’d just delete the tweet. It wasn’t even that bad an argument. It’s the Internet. I don’t know. I was just arguing with him.  

Anna [excited]: YOU ROASTED A GUY SO HARD HE DELETED HIS ACCOUNT?!!

Me: Um, no, it wasn’t–

Anna [standing up, hands on her face, kind of dancing around like one of those people in one of those dunk Vines]: WHOOOA!!!! ROASTED!! BOOOOOM! GO DAD!!”

And it went on and on like that. To the point where I figured that she was mocking me and the silliness of the Internet. Which, to be fair she TOTALLY should have been.

But I soon realized she wasn’t. This was a BIG DEAL to her. Later she told me she was texting her friends and they were all dying about how her dad “roasted some dude so hard he deleted his account.” I was told that this was “epic.”

I don’t know how to feel about any of this really. I’m just documenting it for the inevitable time when Anna is on trial for some heinous crime and the psychologists are trying to figure out when, exactly, she lost the key adult role models in her life.

Craig Calcaterra

Craig is the national baseball writer for NBCSports.com. He writes about things other than sports at Craigcalcaterra.com. He lives in New Albany, Ohio with his wife, two kids, and many cats.

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