Aaron: are you allowed to wish for a state of mind? Or do things have to be tangible?
me: I don’t know. If I had a zillion wishes I’d try it, but with three I’d really worry about blowing one.
Aaron: True. Big risk
me: Some sort of Monkey’s Paw situation is a worry too. Like, “I want $10 million” but the way I get it is for my family to get crushed in a supermarket collapse and I get the $10M from a the legal settlement.
Aaron: Yeah, seems like there must be a bunch of movies about that
me: It’s something I’ve thought about way more than a guy who has been to college should ever have thought about. Also: used my legal training to construct massive, multi-part wishes with subheadings so as to get around the three-wish rules. Wondering if that would fly.
Aaron: Yeah, subsection Z of Wish 1. I feel like wishes cant have commas. Definitely not semi-colons.
me: I’d use (a), (b) and (c) I think. Anything to couch the “perfect body without exercise” in together with “make all women irresistible to me” in the space of one wish.
Aaron: Right. Thats a good point. Its key to know if 1 wish could be “eat anything i want AND have the perfect body without excercise.” Actually, i guess thats 3 things. Perfect body + no exercise + eating. Very complicated.
me: I know. Some asshole genie is like — bam! — all three wishes are gone, dude. And I hadn’t even gotten to the money yet.
Aaron: You need the money for all that food, too. I guess you have to start modeling at that point, to pay bills.
me: Yeah. Or you could short-circuit it all with a “I wish for omnipotence” wish, but something tells me that they’d consider that off limits.
Aaron: I think I would wish first for an endless pasta bowl. That seems like it would be pretty great, although breadsticks eat up a second wish.
Aaron: Eat up. I’m the worst.